t-shirts in stock. $25 includes shipping in the continental U.S. $50 elswhere. s,m,l,xl, xxl. add $5 for xxl. 

DAMSEL NOIR

It's a fact, not EVERYONE can wear this shirt.

For me, that's okay.

 

Number one, I'm not in the T-shirt business, and I offer these as a courtesy to people who have enjoyed The New York City Crime Report with Pat Dixon and want to show their support. (I sincerely appreciate that).

 

If I was in the T-shirt business, I might not sell these at all. I'd probably print up shirts that said "Nasty Woman" or "Dump  Trump" or "Stop Shooting Us" because if you're just trying to sell T-shirts, you don't really care if the individual buying it will enjoy it, appreciate it and wear it regularly, and you don't care if the person is insane, mentally retarded or just plain stupid.

 

You just want that money, which the idiot hoards are only too happy to spend so the world can see what a caring and socially conscious (woke?) kind of person they are. In a time when the world population is engaged in a serious competition to see who can say the stupidest thing, that seems to be a pretty easy button to push. Actually, the T-shirt business might be such a bad idea. Hmmmmm....

For now, I do care about the messaging of the shirt because it's true to the spirit of the show. People who laugh at the shirt will - almost without fail - also laugh at the ONE AND ONLY  comedy podcast devoted to discussion of New York City crime, court activity, suicides and whatever dumb shit the mayor is up to. 

This is no joke, people who listen to Crime Report are a little better than other people. Again and again, I've met fans of the show who are killing it in life and having a great time. They're always smart; they're always respectful and they just GET IT. 

Not every fan of the show will feel the need to own one of these. God, how I wish they did, but it's totally cool. Some people just aren't into that kind of thing or they don't want to spend $25 right this minute. It's okay. Remember; not in the T-shirt business.

 

There is nothing controversial about anything I do and anyone who clutches their pearls over a guy saying things or some word on a T-shirt is a either a dumbass or a troublemaker or both. I know this is a weird pitch, but it's just kind of how I feel right now. 

One more thing, I want to add a huge "thanks!" to my man at Damsel Noir for these incredibly cool and sexy photos. You can see more of his stuff here: 

Take a look, I wouldn't send you there if it wasn't worth it. The man is a genius and his models are all astonishingly attractive. Really great stuff.

THE NYC CRIME REPORT T-SHIRT

100% RINGSPUN COTTON 

Tultex - INCREDIBLE FIT AND COMFORT - THIS WILL BE YOUR FAVORITE T-SHIRT.

$25 - SHIPS ANYWHERE IN THE CONTINENTAL U.S.

$50 - SHIPS EVERYWHERE ELSE

available in S,M 

TO PURCHASE, GO TO CRIMEREPORT.NYC